Road Trip 2008
May 6 through May 17, 2008

Day 1, Journal Entry

Road trip 2008 got off to a shaky start with a blow out 24 miles from home, but I persevered and made it to Carson City, Nevada, 500 miles.

On the way I stopped at the Manzanar, Japanese World War II, Relocation Camp. It sits at the base of Mt. Whitney. You'll have to wait for the movie release to really appreciate the place.

BTW (that's by the way for you older folks) that is me under the pickup. What good are you if you can't change your own tire. I had a passing Auto club Guy take the picture while I changed the tire on the side of the freeway --- for you doubters, yes he loaned me his work uniform.

Day 2, Journal Entry

Day two of RT2008 took me 435 miles across Nevada desert. I checked the weather report before I left Carson City and it said there was a 50% chance of rain. Damned if it wasn’t right. It rained hard for a little over 200 miles of the drive --- 50% rain. But as I struggled to stay in the semi-dry ruts of a big rig truck ahead, I kept thinking that something was wrong with this whole scenario. If it rained half the time, why was I in a desert? Why wasn’t I seeing rain forest? I’ll have to research that when I get home.

The command vehicle for RT2008 is, as you can see from the photo below, well appointed. What’s missing from the shot is:

Days end brought me to The Rainbow Hotel and Casino in Wendover, Nevada where I registered for a deluxe $45.50 room for the night. They expected me to gamble so as to make up for the cheap room. Their loss --- on the room and the all you can eat $15 buffet.

Very late at night though, a group of men broke through the door, and demanded I return the uniform I had borrowed from the Auto Club Guy on day one. I’m not sure but I think they had guns and their leader was OJ Simpson. When they left someone said, “ Hey, Juice, should we leave any witnesses?” My heart stopped. Then OJ said, “Yea, take his picture with his own camera and tell him to email his shame to everyone.” I don’t know about you, but that made about as much sense to me as OJ’s original acquittal. Still, I’m not taking any chances, so …

Anyway, I was just thankful that at the moment the picture was taken, I was holding the complimentary “Welcome to the Rainbow, Potted Silk Plant”, and that a Nevadiodian rectangular moth had landed on the lens.

The one problem with cheap casino rooms is they don’t give you internet access. They want you to spend all your time gambling. Fooled them again. Emailing only takes a minute. The time is in the writing. Anyway, today’s log will have to wait for tomorrow’s email.

Day 3, Journal Entry

Today took me 500 mile across Utah and most of Wyoming. I landed in Laramie, Wyoming. There was an old TV show, “Laramie” that drew me to this stop. Obviously the show had nothing to do with this Wyoming, Laramie. This place is really cold. It’s May, and I should have been wearing long pants and shoes. And I don’t think those cowboys were any tougher than me.

The first stop of the day was at a rest stop on the Bonneville Salt Flats. At first I was fooled. Driving across the flats heading east into the morning sun the landscape was flat but also dark --- I would have sworn it was a lake. But looking back west, the flats were a stark white. WHY? The low eastern sun was casting a shadow off the little irregularities in the flats. I won’t be needing to research that.

My next stop was at the Great Salt Lake where I had planned to swim like in the movies I saw when I was young where the fat guy (me?) floated effortlessly on the lake. First it was too cold to swim, but more importantly that lake stunk. I mean it smelled --- really bad. I had to hold my nose long enough to walk to where I could get a picture of my feet in the lake.

My next stop was in Park City, Utah. I needed to wash my stinking feet. While rinsing my feet with a bottle of BOTTLED water in a parking lot, I received three different proposals of marriage from three different women. They were sister widows looking for a new husband. I told them I’d seen that TV show, Big Love, and wasn’t sure the multiple marriage was a good idea. And even if it was, I didn’t think First Wife would be interested in supporting all of us.

Tomorrow, I start having some shorter drives.

 

Day 4, Journal Entry

Today I slowed down a little. Only drove 270 miles to North Platte, Nebraska. The hometown of Buffalo Bill Cody.

Entering Nebraska was a real change in scenery. There’s a lot of green in west Nebraska unlike west Utah and all of Wyoming that was just brown. Nebraska has lots of cows and horses, too. Even Utah had some visible wildlife. I saw coyote, skunk, and best of all, porcupine. And so what if it was all roads kill. I was impressed. The Wyoming Board of Tourism would be wise to spread a little road kill just to liven up the drive a little. I might even make the drive again if they would throw out a dead buffalo every 100 miles or so.

I visited the Buffalo Bill Cody’s Home and Museum this afternoon. The ranch grounds that Bill named Scout’s Rest Ranch were really beautiful.

However the house house/museum was the typical fare of old relics and furniture.

Except for one spectacular difference.

Bill had himself stuffed and he stands at the top of the staircase. Kathi, I know I told you I wanted to be cremated and buried at sea, but wouldn’t it be great if I could to be hanging around the house all the time. I could be decorated for Christmas, and I bet you could order crossable eyes to scare the neighbor kids on Halloween. Give it some thought.

Tomorrow, Iowa.

Day 5, Journal Entry

I drove 475 miles today across Nebraska and Iowa. It was an all American day. I ate lunch at a Dairy Queen and dinner at KFC, and I stopped for supplies at a Super Wal-Mart. The only thing the least bit un-American was that the KFC shared facilities with a Taco Bell. But every man in that facility was wearing a ball cap and everyone was lily white --- even the workers.

Iowa appears to be much more populated than Nebraska. There were three times more off ramps in Iowa. Nebraska has hundreds of miles where the signs said the next exit would be twenty miles down the road. Could you imagine an off ramp in Irvine and the next one in Long Beach?

Today was the first time I really left the highway to just see the by way. I ended up on two lane roads and passed through some of the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen. I also passed through some little farm towns --- that could have been a movie setting.

When I hit Des Moines, I went to the Prairie Meadows Race Track and Casino. I’d often watched the horses run at Prairie Meadows from Sports Books in Nevada Casinos. But when I arrived I found out the first race wouldn’t start for three hours. So I decided just to visit the clubhouse, place a little bet in the Casino, and head on down the road.

I was half way out of the clubhouse when someone yelled, “A little filly tripped, and they’re gonna put her down!” After the Kentucky Derby, I thought this has got to stop. And then I remembered --- the horses weren’t even running yet. Sure enough the little filly was just an old lady, but the crowd was a hooting’ and a holler’ to “Put her Down” --- euthanize her. Thankfully she was able to limp off by herself or with that crowd she would have been a goner for sure.

The most spectacular moment of the day was when I passed underneath the Great Platte River Road Archway Monument. Yep that’s a cheesy museum dedicated to Pioneers with a gift shop that arches right over the Highway.

I first saw this Monument in the 2002 movie “About Schmidt” staring Jack Nicholson and thought I’d like to see that --- a store over a freeway! That might have been the seed that grew into Road Trip 2008. If you didn’t see it, the movie was about a pitiful, old retired man driving alone back and forth across the prairie. Wait a minute. Does that scenario sound familiar. I’ll have to give that some thought. Right now though, I need to write my friend in Ghana, West Africa --- Kwaku Sintim.

Tomorrow’s a short hop to Kansas City, Kansas.

 

Day 6, Journal Entry

Up until today most of the trip has just been to get here, Kansas City, fast. Now I start back at a slower pace. Today I only drove 175 miles and tomorrow the only driving will be to local sights. I booked a room for two nights --- a vacation.

I drove over the Missouri River a few times today getting in and out of Leavenworth, Kansas. And I saw the Federal Penitentiary at Leavenworth. Had I realized I would be this close, I would have gotten the names of everyone’s friends there and stopped to say hello.

I have to tell you about the greatest invention in the world. GPS navigators. Kathi got me one for Christmas that she nicknamed, Ashley. And Kath complains about what a pushy bitch that Ashley is --- always telling you what to do. Well bitch or not Ashley’s been my best friend on this trip.

Before leaving Huntington, I told Ashley every place I wanted to stop on this trip. Every morning I tell her to take me to the next stop. And she leads me right there telling me how far, which lane to get in at junctions, … everything I need to know.

More and more I’ve been leaving the highway just for a change of pace. Half the trip today was on two lane country roads. Two lanes posted 60 MPH over hills and dales, heading nowhere in particular, through farmland. For me that’s fun! But for Ashley it’s stressful and her comments become progressively aggravated. First,“ Make a u-turn at the first opportunity”; then, “I said, MAKE a U-Turn at the first opportunity”; then “Listen, Butt-Head, I said MAKE a U-TURN”.

Now here’s the best part about Ashley --- she has a MUTE button. So I don’t have to listen to her until I’m ready to return to the programmed route. Then I just put her sound back on, she always forgives me completely, and leads me back to the main highway toward the next stop.

I also have to admit, sometimes I get a little lonely on the road. I miss someone to talk with. When that happens I can always touch Ashley in a special spot and she’ll respond with something like. “In 195 miles exit at Route 29e” --- all in the sweetest voice you can imagine. So its no wonder Ashley’s become my best friend on the road. It also explains why the first thing I do when we get to the nights stop is charge her up and make sure she has everything she needs to be comfortable --- including male companionship… sometimes even a local (remote kind of) boy.

I know this Road Trip sounds very glamorous, but it’s not all fun and games. Sleeping night after night in fleabag motels and eating at greasy spoons most nights. One night at Ruby Tuesday’s in Nebraska, the blue cheese dressing had big chunks of blue cheese in it. And look at the recliner chair provided at one motor inn, it isn’t leather --- it’s fabric!

How’s a guy supposed to write this prose from a fabric recliner?

Tomorrow will be a local sight seeing day. Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mother’s.

 

Day 7, Journal Entry

I expected to spend another night in KC, but I guess I gots' the road in my blood. Remember the old saying, “A rambling rose gathers no mas.” Or was the theme song for the Sugar Ray Leanord versus Roberto Duran fight. Anyway, after a little sight seeing, I headed back out on the Highway landing 150 miles away in Abilene, Kansas.

I got an early start in Independence, Missouri to visit the Harry Truman Library and Museum. I almost ran over an old man crossing the street in the morning light. Later I had my picture taken next to a guy that looked eerily like that old man.

I also visit the National Pioneer Trails Museum in Independence. If I didn’t know it already, I was convinced that traveling in my Road Trip 2008 command vehicle is pretty sweet. Beats the hell out of five months in a Conestoga wagon from Missouri to California.

There were many more reminders today that I’m in the Real America. Look at the McDonalds with the Golden Arches and the how many sold sign, 99 Billion. I ate a late lunch here at a place recommended by the desk clerk, Joe Snuffy’s Old Fashioned Grill. It truly was old fashioned, a café located in a 6-lane bowling alley behind the Motel 8. I ate the chicken fried steak with mash potatoes, gravy, roll, green beans, and milk. It was as good and equal in portions to The Claim Jumper’s for a third the cost. Gotta love this part of America.

Kathi called today to inquiry if I had been anywhere near the killer tornadoes this weekend. If I believed the national news, I’d be more afraid of the severe weather forecasted daily --- especially the tornados. But even the local news broadcasts continuous instructions on what to do if you find yourself in a tornado always noting the first warning being the loud sound like a freight train. That knowledge worked against me in Oceanus, Iowa (very near the Missouri border). Shortly after checking into that night’s motel, I heard a sound like a freight train.

I immediately put my training into action and headed toward the recommended safety spot --- the bathtub. I did however abandon the instruction to place a mattress over myself as impractical when halfway to the bathroom I realized that king size mattress wasn’t going to fit through the door. So as I lay in tub fretting the absence of a mattress cover, it dawned on me that tornados probably didn’t blow whistles. The motel was about a quarter mile from a RR track. The rest of my stay that night was interrupted with the thought, “Will this one blow its whistle?”

Tomorrow I’ll be visiting the Dwight Eisenhower Library and Museum right here in Abilene. Then heading toward the Rank family roots in Hutchinson, Kansas --- long time residence and final resting place to Great Grandfather, William M Rank (1862-1932) and Great Grandmother, Estella May Bohart-Rank (1868-1954). I’m meeting my cousin, Kenny Rank, on William’s original farm in Abbyville and then having dinner with him and his sister.

Day 8, Journal Entry

The day got off to a rocky start, but got better all the time. I drove 190 miles to, in, and around Hutchinson, Kansas. The first thing I did was visit the Dwight Eisenhower Library and Museum in Abilene.

I paid my $8, went into the museum, and ran right into a picture of Mamie and Ike waving goodbye under a sign that said this ends your visit.

I was pretty disappointed and went right back to the payment counter to let them know I didn’t think this museum was worth the $8 charge. Well before I could get two words out, the counter lady handed me a piece of paper and said I should write my complaint down. So, I look around for a pen to write my complaint, and see this pen in a little glass box. So, I proceed to reach into the box, remove the pen, and start writing my complaint. You would have thought the world had come to an end --- Sirens start blaring, people started yelling and coming from all directions. One guy that had been working around the glass box yells, “You’re holding the pen that was used to sign the treaty ending WWII. It’s Priceless!” I handed him back his precious pen, told him, “Can’t be worth too much. There ain’t no ink in it”, and left. What a rip off, that place was.

Then I headed for the farm that’s been in the Rank family since the 1890s to meet my cousin Kenny, who still farming the place in Abbyville, Kansas population 150 or thereabouts. The only thing unusual in the drive is that GPS, Ashley, was telling me that when I was within six miles of the farm, that I still had forty minutes before estimated time of arrival. I couldn’t understand. I was traveling 55mph on a country road. Then Ashley told me to turn right onto a dirt, single, lane road. About thirty minutes later, I arrived at Kenny’s. I was lucky because at one point I was behind a tractor going four miles an hour that took up the entire lane. Lucky because he turned off the road soon after I got behind. If you don’t believe me I got the whole dirt road trip on videotape – Road Trip 2008, Command Vehicle Cam.

Well I met Kenny who gave me a tour of the farm that I hadn’t seen since our family trip to Kansas when I was five years old. Except for a few descriptions, I’m just going to show some pictures below I took on a two-mile walk with Kenny around the farm. There might be a few old pictures too.

The original pond the Rank boys fished is still there. That’s my turtle catch on the right.

Kenny with one of his 48 Texas longhorn cattle.

Kenny Rank, Bob Rank, Mary Rank-Hall, Kenny’s sister.

Kenny and I ended the day eating dinner in Arlington, Kansas at one of the two restaurants that appeared to be one of the three-business still operating on the two block long Arlington Main St. I tried to take a still photo, but there wasn’t anything to photograph. I’m hoping the Cam got a good video.

On the way back to my hotel in Hutchinson, I saw a sign for the East Side Cemetery so I stopped in to meet and say goodbye to some relatives.

In a row is the last resting place for my grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-grandmother. We had a nice visit.

Tomorrow I’m heading west to Dodge City, Kansas.

BTW --- Kenny told me over dinner that I would have enjoyed the Eisenhower Museum if I hadn’t entered to the left through the exit door.

 

Day 9, Journal Entry

Drove about 250 miles today. I thought I’d be staying in Dodge City tonight, but I completed the visit to the Boot Hill Museum early, so I just kept “Movin-on, movin on down the road.” That was the song from the Wizard of OZ movie, and Dodge City was kind of like OZ. I didn’t expect much, but … My experience at the Eisenhower Museum was better. The real OZ was more realistic. I clicked my heels twice, and wished myself out of Kansas to no avail. So I drove away well before the sunset.

My photos look a lot better than the real thing. I’m shooting the town front from a parking lot. The Boot Hill Cemetery had until recently been the site of a School Gym, and the beer I’m drinking at the Long Branch Saloon is a Bud Light served by a 28 year old drama major -- he volunteered that information, I didn’t ask. Also absent from the photos are the three grade school classes on field trips. That’s why I was hiding out in the Long Branch.

If I would have had a better time at the Boot Hill Museum, I might have taken a chance on the Kansas Teachers’ Hall of Fame and Gunfighter Wax Museum. That’s not two separate museums. They share the same space.

I really crossed the flat land of Kansas today. There is no explaining it. Just imagine the three pictures below repeated over and over and over and…

Toto, this is Kansas.

The one highlight of the day was a visit to another blast from the past: A Drive Inn fast food restaurant. We have Sonics in California, but are they drive-ins? Here, you pull into a diagonal parking space, order from your private order menu board/microphone, and the food’s delivered to your car window. Cheese burger! Cheese Fries! Diet Coke! All without having to move your fat ass an inch out of the car seat. Once again, this is what makes America great.

Day 10, Journal Entry

Today was a long one, almost five hundred mile. I didn’t stop at the Coors Brewery as planned, cause I’m getting tired. And besides, I have to leave something for the next time I pass these ways -- Like the brewery and The Kansas Teachers’ Hall of Fame & Gunfighter Wax Museum.

I ended up at Kathi’s cousins house in Grand Junction, CO but crossed the Rocky Mountains in getting here. It started raining in Denver, and by the time I reached the summit, it was snowing. I stopped and ate lunch in the condo capital of the world, Vail. I saw the beginning of the Colorado River and watched it grow as I descended the mountain and saw some of the most beautiful scenery of RT 2008. So it’s been an interesting day.

This is Jim and Patty in their Grand Junction home. In the background you can see the Colorado National Monument (the name of the mountains). I’m going to take a 22 mile drive across the top tomorrow before hitting the road again.

I still have about 700 miles before I’m back home, but this will probably be the end of the RT2008 journal entries. The next couple of days’ route has been traveled before. So the rest is a ... been there/done that trip. But by the time the RT2008 is completed, I will have driven about 4,300 miles, crossing nine states (some more than once). I’ve seen a whole lot of this country. And although I’m tired now, I’m already considering options for RT2009: Oklahoma, Canada, the South, …

Summary

Total distance driven 4250 miles The map below is the trip I designed, but some of the stops indicated by the numbers were never meant to be

Trip Cost

Gasoline $913
Lodging $790
Cash $300